Relationships
I recently read the book, The Four Things That Matter Most, by Ira Byock, MD. This is a very practical book on human relationships. Some have identified the work as a resource for those who are experiencing death and dying. In my opinion, it is a text for life. Each of us would benefit from mending, tending and nurturing relationships in our lives.
If you were to make a listing of four things that matter most to you regarding your relationships with others (not God), what would you put on your list?
Pause. Don’t read any further . . . take a moment and put your thoughts on paper.
Dr. Byock identifies four things that really makes sense to me. While the book was not written to be a Christian book, it has words each of us can practice in our relationship with others. As you read this list below take your pen and underline the ones that you agree with:
1) “Forgive Me”
Sometimes we are in bondage because we have done something to hurt or offend others. It takes a courageous person to ask another for forgiveness. More times than not, it is a member of our family. It is a magic word because it opens doors of renewed relationships. Let’s take a lesson from the Bible, “. . . be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you . . .” (Ephesians 4:32)
2) “I Forgive You”
Many of us have been hurt by words or deeds of another. An action or a spoken word can make a significant withdrawal from our emotional bank account. Providing forgiveness to another is a wonderful gift. It heals wounds and hearts. It is a start over phrase. Sometimes the person we need to forgive is ourselves. You may have known a person who held a grudge forever – taking it to the grave. Unfortunately, the person they hurt the most was themselves. Express forgiveness and erase bitterness.
3) “Thank You”
Express gratitude to persons who have brought happiness or delight into your life. I admire persons who take the time to write (preferably not via electronic mail) an expression of appreciation for acts and deeds done. It is easy to take for granted what others do for us.
Pause. Who has helped you experience joy or has helped you through a difficult experience? Stop now and write them a note of thanks.
4) “I Love You”
Many individuals have difficulty with saying this message to another. They struggle with expressing the deepest emotion of life. Others may say the phrase so flippantly and it loses its integrity. Most of us enjoy hearing someone tell us they love us – and, we show appreciation, affection, devotion, tenderness, adoration and respect by saying it meaningfully to another. Someone very close to you may treasure the moment when you tell them, “I love you.”
Eleven words, powerful words, words that provide growth at any time in the course of relationships and life. “Be at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18)
Larry Yarborough is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Middle Tennessee in Nashville. He can be reached at lyarborough@ymcamidtn.org and on his profile page here.
« A New Creation | Home | An Esther Moment »
Leave a Comment